Last Night's Hookup: My Proudest Mistake

Last Night
I gave in to my male urges and hooked up with a guy. As I said before, I don't like to hookup, but I'm compelled to. My junk radiates if I don't get sexual healing. Really. It's such a powerful urge, and because there isn't a significant other in my life I have to get out that sexual energy somehow. And as we all know, sometimes masturbation just doesn't cut it.

So there I was, at this strange guy's house.
He offered me some weed. I opted to have a drink instead. I had never tried weed before, but the thing that stopped me was the fact that I had an hour long drive to look forward to after everything was done. That's right. I drove an hour and 15 minutes to have sex with a stranger. In the rain no less. But I digress.
He told me he was into spanking. I said, ok. "I always wanted to try it," I said. He then began to smoke and he called me over. I turned around and he pulled down my pants to my ankles and began to, for lack of a better word, molest me. I must admit, it was a bit sexy to see him puffing smoke and getting horny, as he travel all over my body with his hands. But in the back of my mind, I knew I would regret this. I always did. I got on my knees...

So after that, he began to spank my bare ass. First with a belt and then with a paddle. The paddle began to sting, but it turned me on. Then he took me outside. He said that he had family sleeping on the other side of the house. Just to be safe, he wanted to take me outside for the paddling. I played along and went outside into the cold night air. Drops of rain dripped down on my bare skin as he began to administer more punishment. I was a little ashamed. To be outside, looking out on his acres of land. Having a strange man paddle me, while his family could come out at any time. Without a doubt, it turned me on. Then it started to hurt badly. I was a beginner to all of this paddling stuff, so we went back inside. I hopped on the bed and so did he. We began to fondle each other and toy with each other. Then he climbed on top of me.
"Do you have a condom?" I said.
"No, I don't have any. Do you?"
"No."
"Well, let me just stick it in a little. I promise I won't cum inside you."
"Ummm, no, that's okay."
After that, he climbed on top of me in several positions and began to try and force it inside of me. He began to get a little bit forceful.
"Just let me stick it in a little bit."
"No," I said, as he continued to try and overpower me.

He didn't try to rape me . . .
He wasn't trying to rape me or anything, but he was being forceful. And he continued to beg me to put it in. An odd combination of whimpering and an attempt toward dominance. Saying that my ass was "so soft,"and that he promised he "didn't have anything."

He continued with that for about 10 or 15 minutes, but I wouldn't have it. I would not let him do anything unless he had protection, and I meant it.Then he gets up and begins to put his clothes back on. I couldn't believe it. What a jackass, I thought to myself.

Then I put all my clothes back on. He sat back in his chair and smoked once more. At this point, I was seriously regretting letting him drive me up here. All I wanted to do was to get back in my car and head home with the speakers blaring. But I couldn't. My car was a little less than a mile away and I was out in the woods. He drove a Mercedes and had a nice house though, so I thought he couldn't be a serial killer. I'm much too trusting.

So he gets out of his chair and begins to look around the room.
"Why didn't you tell me you didn't have any condoms?" I asked.
He went to the back of the room and pulled out a suitcase. I begin to worry a little. Was he pissed that I refused to do bareback. Was he going to pull out something to make me obey. He was into being dominant after all. Then he went to his bookbag. He pulled out a box of condoms.
"I'll be dam." I thought to myself. "This son-of-a-bitch had condoms all along"
He took his clothes off once more.
I did as well.

Pissed, horny, suspicious, and angry.
I was pissed, but I drove more than an hour to have sex, so I was going to have sex. Plus, if I wanted to leave, I would have to make him drive me. And that was something I don't think he would've done at that point. He put on the condom and got on top of me yet again. I reached back to make sure it was on, because I really did not trust him at this point.
"It's on!" he said.
I felt it anyway. It was indeed on. But he had lost his erection. According to him, the condom keeps him from getting it up. This wasn't a lie. It took him at least 30 minutes to get an erection again. When he did it was a race against time to put on another condom and get him to mount me. It was ridiculous. He wasn't even that good of a lover. Eventually, after about an hour of meaningless humping, I forced myself to cum. Then, 20 to 30 minutes after that, he came.

Worst Mistake Ever, But. . .
So, the whole night was full of mistakes. I shouldn't have driven more than an hour to have sex with a stranger. I shouldn't have allowed him to drive me up to his home. I shouldn't have let slept with him at all. But I can say that at the end of the night, I stayed true to my own principles. I was responsible. Even if it was the only responsible thing I did that night, I'm glad I did it. It feels really good, knowing that I didn't compromise, just because I was horny. I used the head on my shoulders, not the one between my thighs.
All in all, I saw a 24 hour sex shop on my way to his house. I should've just stopped there.

What I hate about it though. . .
I hate the fact that I know I'll probably have another hookup. And It's all because I'm in the closet. More on that later. . .